Win a Signed Copy of ‘Ophelia’!
For the holidays, we’re having a Super Facebooktastic Book Giveaway and Contest!
UPDATE: We have winners!! The contest is over. Thanks everyone for participating.
Just write a status update (or other Facebook-like line) for a character from a holiday classic following the instructions below, and you’ll be entered to win one of 10 signed copies of Ophelia Joined the Group Maidens Who Don’t Float. And the three submissions deemed the best will win: the book, an Amazon.com gift card ($20 for 3rd place, $40 for 2nd and $60 for 1st) and of course the honor of being recognized as the esteemed tech-lit-pop-culture-geek-nerd you are.
To enter, please write your holiday status update in one of these places:
- In the Comments below
- Twitter: But please use the hashtag #fblit, or I won’t see it
- Facebook: On the wall of the book’s fan page: www.facebook.com/maidenswhodontfloat (yes, you need to be a fan)
- If you want to be all private, email it to mwdf825 at gmail dot com (but sharing these is most of the fun, dontcha think?)
When I say “classic,” we’re not just talking Dickens: give us a status update from Scrooge, Frosty, George Bailey or Judah Maccabee. I think holiday classics can mean books, movies, TV, songs, just about anything. Someone have Hermey join the group The Island of Misfit Toys. Someone tag Ralphie in his bunny suit in a photo album. And someone please tell me what Grandma from “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” has “on her mind” (perhaps it’s just: Grandma MMM egg nog). For examples of classic lit/Facebook lines I used in the book look here.
And you don’t have to sum up an entire classic in one line. Just imagine if say, The Grinch was on Facebook, what would he decide to write at any given time? Maybe: The Grinch is updating his heart-size. (See, now I’m just giving these away.)
Other nitty-gritty:
- The contest runs from November 19th through December 11th.
- Yes, you can submit more than one entry. But try not to repeat the same entry in more than one place. I’m easily confused.
- I will announce the winners on Dec. 14th, at which point I’ll have to find out how to get prizes to you. If you win, and I try to notify and/or contact you and don’t hear back within two weeks, your prize goes to someone else who’s actually paying attention.
- If you have questions, write me at mwdf825 at gmail dot com
Happy holidays! Now let’s start the funny.
{ 50 comments }
Mary Hatch wonders if George Bailey will be at the Homecoming dance tonight… !
Ralphie Parker wants an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time.
Ebenezer Scrooge thinks Christmas sucks.
The Grinch likes this.
Rudolph is attending Spring Break On The Island Of Misfit Toys. Holla!
Mr. Parker joined the group Leg Lamps Rule.
Ralphie Parker became a fan of ” the Red Ryder BB gun”
Feedback(1)
Mrs. Parker: You’ll Shoot Your eye out!
Mrs. Parker and Mr. Parker were tagged in a note.
“WHY I WANT THE RED RYDER BB GUN for CHRISTMAS” by Ralphie Parker
COMMENTS:
Miss Shields: Ralphie, I don’t mean to intercept, but I have already told you that you’ll shoot your eye out!
Mrs. Parker: Don’t think I’ve already told him so!!
Santa Claus: Why not a nice football?
Ralphie Parker:
@ Mrs. Shields-I did not deserve a C+. If you gave me a chance, you would have seen why I NEED IT. =@
@MOM–PLEAAAASSEEEEEEEEE..? =(
@ Santa–…NO!! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!
Santa Claus: You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.
Ralphie Parker was tagged in a photo.
Ralphie Parker: AWWW MOM…why did you have to put this up?
Mrs. Parker: You look so darling in that bunny suit!!
Ralphie: I’m untagging this. Please delete ASAP.
Scut Farkus: HAHAHA..you’re going to get it now PARKER!!!
Ebenezer just updated his favourite quotes.
“BAH HUMBAG!”
How much is George Bailey worth? Play Owned! to find out!
The Bumble is expecting a lot of cash from the Tooth Fairy.
Ebenezer Scrooge is now friends with Bob Cratchitt, Tiny Tim, The Ghost of Christmas Present, and 987 others.
Daddy posted something on Mommy’s wall:
“So who’s this guy in the red suit I hear you’ve been kissing?”
Charlie Brown became a fan of unloved Christmas trees
Violet joined the group “People Who Do Not Know Sarcasm When They Hear It”
Frosty Probably should have listened to that crossing guard…
Grinch has updated “Activities.”
Ruining Christmas
Frosty the Snowman is Melting
Ghost of Christmas Present, Ghost of Christmas Past, and Ghost of Christmas Future are attending the event Christmas at Scrooge’s
Dasher poked Rudolph
Dancer poked Rudolph
Prancer poked Rudolph
Vixen poked Rudolph
Comet poked Rudolph
Cupid poked Rudolph
Donner poked Rudolph
Blitzen poked Rudolph
Rudolph is no longer attending the event “Reindeer Games”
Jiminy Criscket Says ” I hope everyone is having jiminy good holdays!”
Pinichio likes this.
Comments:
Santa Claus- Pinichio quit all your lying or I might have to give a chain saw for Christmas to cut some of your nose away!
Santa Claus updated his relationship status. He is no longer in a relationship with Mrs. Claus.
Santa Claus has updated his status to “it’s complicated with Elfrieda Snowflake.”
Scrooge just got a visit from an old business partner…..rather loud….came with baggage….hopes he wont be staying…
Christ Child: This hay is totally giving me a rash.
Christ Child: Frankensense? WTF?
King Herod isn’t really into babies.
Joseph voted Mary “most likely to get immaculately knocked up.” LOL JK
Christmas took the quiz “What Holiday Are You?”
You are Saturnalia!
James Young received a Watch Chain gift from Della
James Young comments: Guess what I just sold? FML
Yukon Cornelius is looking for gold.
Yukon Cornelius changed his mind and is looking for silver.
Yukon Cornelius decided that maybe he needs a new career.
Yukon Cornelius is now friends with The Bumble.
The Bumble likes this.
The Nutcracker got promoted to Level 90 in Mouse Wars and is celebrating by offering a special bonus to their friends for a limited time!
Marie likes this
Jack Frost: is ready for an arctic blast this weekend! So much for global warming! MUAHAHAHA
Frosty likes this
Charles Dickens, Ebenezzer Scrooge, The Mumpets, and 10 others are attending the event: “Group Movie night at the the theatre - A Christmas Carol!”
*Edit to previous post: “The Muppets”
Blitzen: is looking for a new stablemate. Rudolf’s bright nose keeps him awake.
Comments -
Rudolf: Hey, you told me you didn’t mind! But it doesn’t matter. Your thundrous snoring keeps ME awake.
Dasher: Rudolf, there is a reason you weren’t invited to the reindeer games…
Cupid: Hey now, spead love, my fellow sleigh-pullers!
Vixen: You’re welcome to come stay in my stable, Blitzen…
Prancer: DIBS!
The little driedle is…
dry and ready and plastic and made in China
Bob Wallace: Snow
Phil Davis: Snow
Betty Haynes: Snow
Judy Haynes: Snow!
Phil Davis: wants Bob to take a break
Bob Wallace: wants Phil to stop pulling the arm trick. Its not gonna work this time!
Phil Davis loves sitting boy, girl, boy, girl
Betty Haynes is now friends with Bob Wallace and Phil Davis
Judy Haynes is now friends with Bob Wallace and Phil Davis
Good King Wenceslas is now friends with Poor Woodsman
Frank Sinatra is recording even more carols tomorrow. Any suggestions of what I haven’t already done?
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Mouse is not attending the event “The Night Before Christmas Party”
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The Little Drummer Boy is wondering how much spare cash he has.
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Gaspar, Melchior, and Balthasar are attending the event “Scavanger Hunt: A Search for the new King.”
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Bob Wallace can’t believe Davis talked him into going to Vermont.
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Phil Davis is wondering where all the snow is.
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Susan learned how to be a monkey today.
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Bernard likes sweaters.
Dr. Neil Miller likes this.
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Buddy became a fan of “Smiling.”
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Buddy became a fan of “Syrup.”
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Rudolph is now in a relationship.
Kevin McCallister made his family disappear…
Kevin McCallister think that when he grows up and gets married, HE LIVING ALONE!
Alvin hopes that Christmas won’t be late
Theodore wants a plane that loops the loop
Simon wants a hula hoop
Kevin McCallister is now friends with Old Man Marley
You became a fan of Two Front Teeth: The Best Christmas Present
You became a fan of Figgy Pudding
Jolly Old Saint Nicholas is not telling you what he is getting you for Christmas! (And he knows that your stocking is the shortest one)
Dancer and Prancer are attending Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Hermey became a fan of Pulling Teeth.
The Yeti is no longer on line.
The Grinch is freezing his ass off.
The Grinch really wishes he had 2 more feet of red felt.
The Grinch has no idea who left this dog here last nite.
The Grinch really wants those Whos down in Whoville to shut their pie traps.
The Grinch was tagged in Billy Goat Gruff’s album: Man Cave Par-tay Summer 09
The Grinch joined the group I Hate Whoville!
The Grinch thinks candy canes are stupid.
The Grinch Stole The Christmas Tree of Susie Who! Bark at, Wreck A Sled with, or Take Singing Lessons with The Grinch
The Grinch wishes he didn’t have such a fat ass.
The Grinch became a fan of Full Sled Physics 101
The Grinch loves me some Roast Beast!
Susie Who likes this
Mrs Dalloway decided she would buy the flowers herself.
Jacob Marley was dead to begin with.
Ebeneezer Scrooge really needs to lay off the moldy cheeses and heavy gravies before bed.
Ebeneezer Scrooge is not attending Fred and Clara’s Annual Christmas Party.
The Ghost of Christmas Past is tired of being treated like a child.
Ebeneezer Scrouge is not a fan of flying.
The Ghost of Christmas Present is a large, absent-minded spirit.
Ebeneezer Scrouge is starting to feel compassion.
The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come is not speaking to anyone.
Ebeenezer Scoorge is seriously freaked out right now.
Ebeenezer Scrooge is keeping Christmas in his heart.
Tiny Tim did not die.
Tiny Tim says, “God Bless Us. Everyone.”
Ralphie Parker knows what he wants for Christmas.
Mrs. Parker joined the cause “Starving Children in China.”
Randy Parker became a fan of The Way Little Piggies Eat.
Mrs. Parker would like a hot meal.
Randy Parker can’t put his arms down.
Mrs. Parker used up all the glue on purpose (don’t tell!).
Mr. Parker misses the aura of electric sex glowing in the window.
Ralphie Parker can her the sound of taps being played softly in the distance.
Ralphie Parker said The Word–The “F-Dash-Dash-Dash” word.
Ralphie Parker will never get the taste of Life Boy out of his mouth.
Ralphie Parker and Santa Claus became friends.
An Annoying Kid likes The Wizard of Oz.
Ralphie Parker and Santa Claus are no longer friends.
Ralphie Parker got almost everything he wanted for Christmas.
Mr. Parker sees something in the corner there.
Ralphie Parker’s dreams are coming true.
Ralphie Parker shot his eye out!
Ralphie Parker broke his glasses!
Ralphie Parker whipped up some quick tears.
Mrs. Parker bought it.
Mr. Parker is a turkey fiend.
Mr. Parker is talking to the HOA about Leash Laws.
The Chinese Choir is singing something else.
The Duck is smiling at Mr. Parker.
Katie Young is enjoying A Christmas Story.
Frosty wonders if this year someone will sing Happy Birthday to him or if like always he will sing alone
Sandy Claws joined the group Men Whose Names Do Not Describe Them
Clara - Left Nutcracker. Now into vampires and dating Robert Pattinson.
Clement Clarke Moore is settling his brain for a long winter’s nap
Clement Clarke Moore is wondering what all that clatter is.
Clement Clarke Moore just took the Name all of Santa’s Reindeer Quiz. He got 100%!
Saint Nicholas joined the group Tarnished with Ashes and Soot
Donder is really tired of people misspelling his name. C’mon, folks! It’s German for thunder, get it? That’s why I’m always teamed up with Blitzen–you know, lightning? Kind of makes sense, right?
Clement Clarke Moore wants to know why the guy in the red suit is winking at him and twisting his head–should I dread this?
Vixen tagged Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Comet, Cupid, Donder, Blitzen, and Saint Nicholas in a photo.
Comet commented on Vixen’s photo: “Wow, we really took off there! It was like dry leaves before a hurricane!”
Dancer commented on Vixen’s photo: “Or like the down of a thistle.”
Cupid commented on Vixen’s photo: “LOL”
Saint Nicholas likes this.
THE SHEPHERDS just threw a sheep at THE HEAVENLY HOST.
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